My Life Journey On Alcohol Addiction (Mental Health Confession)

After receiving a diagnosis of getting addicted to alcohol, it really got me thinking about my relationship with it. I can still recall the binge-drinking days where I just didn’t care if I get a total blackout due to whatever level of consumption I was doing. I enjoyed drinking back then, so what else do I have to think about besides the happy moments of me enjoying and living life to the fullest? Growing up, I started drinking alcohol when I was sixteen. I was binge-drinking every weekend with my friends as we party all night. Honestly, I can’t count those times that I passed out and got wasted. Sometimes, if it’s convenient for me, I drink alone once or twice before going to bed.

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Looking back on those drinking habits, I didn’t realize things can go bad over time. I never considered that I have an alcohol problem because I was too convinced that every individual experienced a phase like that. I never thought that my drinking habit was not something I could easily stop myself from doing. Honestly, I never pictured myself quitting drinking because I believe it to be a requirement to strengthen my social behavior and skills. But right after I got diagnosed with mental health problems associated with drinking consumption, I knew from that moment I need to change things.

The Quitting Process

I was crazy addicted to alcohol that I often experienced passing out on the streets whenever I consumed too much. I became a laughing stock because I always ended up drunk and wasted and unable to physically, mentally, and emotionally control myself. I had this issue that whenever I start drinking, there is no way anyone could stop me. I can go for a full 24-hour cycle of non-stop alcohol consumption. Some people who don’t know me think it was a talent that I should brag about. But for me, I slowly realized that it was a problem.

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The quitting process was quite hard because I wasn’t sure about what to do. I went on controlling myself for a couple of days, nine days, to be precise. I was so happy that I somehow managed to instantly stop drinking without the help of anyone but myself. I thought it was not that hard because I went on nine days straight of not taking any sip. I was convinced that I can make alcohol addiction go away. But right before I am about to celebrate my days of success, I snapped. I took a bottle of beer and told myself that it was just for that day. Unfortunately, as soon as I took that first gulp, I went crazy over it and craved for more.

After a couple of days of triumph, I was back again on my alcohol addiction. And this time, it was worse. It was as if I drink alcohol to fuel my body. I was a mess. I lost my job, my friends won’t hang out with me anymore, and my family won’t talk to me. I was so devastated that I ended up having clinical depression.

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The Struggle For Success

My alcohol addiction pushed me on edge. I was left with nothing in my pocket and no one on my side. I was entirely eager to end my life because of that. I was so depressed that I couldn’t think clear thoughts. I thought that maybe if I could die instantly, things would be a lot better. But somehow, I knew I need to make things right. That is where I decided to look for an effective solution, so I scheduled myself for counseling before finally entering rehabilitation. Admittedly, the process of simply talking to someone about my mental health condition was not something I entirely considered effective. But to my surprise, a couple of sessions made me feel better, and I don’t know why. It made me realize many things about myself regarding my behavior and how I was supposed to manage my life.

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The Positive Outcome

After a year of battling with my addiction, I am now alcohol-free. I am so happy that I began to see the good things in life. After I cut back alcohol entirely, I can now make better decisions at a much approachable level. I feel awesome every day, and I don’t get to feel too exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I don’t get wasted anymore as I am now off to any embarrassment. My mind is so much clearer that I can focus on doing things productively and creatively. It feels like my senses were enhanced, and I am more aware of what is going on around me. I feel great to have this incredible sense of well-being. I am now in control of my life, and I want it to stay that way.