Accepting that your spouse rarely comes home to you due to his gambling addiction can be as challenging as recognizing that he has another woman. You cannot sleep whenever he’s still out at night. Even though he’s snoozing next to you, you don’t dare to shut your eyes in fear of him sneaking off to the casino.
Hence, once your man acknowledges reason and says that he’ll stop gambling, you should not wait for another minute to pass. Take every piece of advice you can get to make sure that the addiction fades away completely. In fact, here are some for you:
- Be Strict With The Cash Flow
First, you have to ask yourself, “How did my husband’s addiction get this far?”
You can say that it is no thanks to his stressors or depression. Such things can indeed enable a man to go astray. Despite that, you should grasp the truth that your better half got to gamble for so long because he has free rein over your finances.
From the get-go, therefore, it is a must to limit your husband’s access to money. Get rid of his credit cards, to be specific, and only place a particular amount on his debit card for gas and food. Assuming your spouse’s company knows of his addiction too, you may arrange it so that only you will be able to encash his paychecks until he’s ready to spend wisely. While it may feel like high school all over again for your significant other, enforcing this level of financial strictness may be more beneficial for him.
- Allow Your Spouse To Face His Problems
If your husband has been gambling for years, it is possible that the issues that the managed to create are still unresolved. For instance, your children may be upset with him since he only has time for roulettes or cards. He might be subject to getting fired from the job he once loved as he no longer comes to work often and completes deadlines. Worse, your spouse may have outstanding debt from a loan shark.
In case you genuinely wish to revive the man that you fell in love with, it will be wise if you don’t fix such problems on his behalf. He seems too frail to handle them on his own for now, yes. However, what you are about to do may only spoil him and derail his path towards recovery.
- Seek Counseling
Considering your better half decides to get some form of therapy, try to go with him to every session. He may not be outspoken, but your constant presence there may give him more strength to keep on fighting the addiction. Not to mention, it will help you understand your spouse’s ordeal better and how close he is to restore himself.
It may also be a great idea to seek marriage counseling at this point. Gambling, for sure, did not merely affect the finances of the family. Your husband’s compulsion to gamble undeniably has caused arguments to erupt here and there. Thus, his recovery may speed up if your relationship heals too.
- Have A Gentler Hold On Him
The last thing any recovering addict needs is to have someone – especially a special one – say, “I told you so.” It is not advisable either to stop your significant other from getting a haircut or even going to the supermarket alone. That can eventually suffocate him, to the extent that he gets depressed and finds comfort in gambling once more.
Instead, what you should do is let your husband live his life normally. If he tells you that he’ll be in the office the whole day, believe him. In case he wants to hang out with his relatives, give him that opportunity. Though your husband is still not entirely sober, proving your complete trust and faith in his words may encourage him to clean up his actions for real.
The fact that you are here, reading this post rather than getting a manicure or pedicure with your girlfriends, speaks volumes about how much you love your husband. His addiction to gambling may be rocking your marriage boat now, but it isn’t the time to give up on pulling him away from that direction. At least, not when you already know a trick – or four – to smash the main problem to pieces.